Average Jodi

Yea.. it was just an average movie. More on that later. 

First, a few er.. 'interesting' events of last night.

Event 1: It was an 8:30 show. And we were late. For no apparent reason to be honest. We were home before 7 and just lazing around. Actually, me and my wife have an immaculate record of being late to almost every movie we go to. Its ingrained into our systems. Yep, we're the ones you curse for blocking your screen for 30 full seconds as we get to our seats.

Anyway, hoping to be the cursers instead of cursees this time, we skip our planned 'churmuri' and head to Inox Jayanagar, a full 15 mins before scheduled time.

Event 2: We're at the theater at 8:25 sharp. I'm standing in a line holding up my cellphone where I have the SMS confirmation of the booking. But the 2 guys at the counter are not noticing me. One Uncle ahead of me is leisurely enquiring for tickets for some crap movie, that too for a monday nite show. Valuable minutes are being lost... Ahh, finally, Uncle moves away disgruntled for not getting his favored back row middle seats. I swoop in and place my cellphone inside the little hole at the counter before the over-enthusiastic chap behind me could cut me off. Highly impressed with myself, I turn towards my wife with the 'Didya see what I did there baby' smirk. But she's looking elsewhere. Husbands never get their due I say.

Event 3: With great speed, we bypass popcorn counters and head directly to the hall. We could hear the 'Ghajini' trailer as we were about to enter. I let out a 'yess' and handed my tickets to the usher. "Seats K8 and K9", I said. He looked at them and said "Oh.. first row saar!" and handed the tickets back to me with a smile which I'm sure meant 'Loser'.

First Row.. damn. I am seriously pissed off with bookmyshow.com. You know what first row means right?

a) Neck Pain

b) Your neighbor can easily figure out which part of the heroine's anatomy you're looking at.

We're settling into our seats and I see a guy from my college sitting in the very next seat. He was with a girl too. We said our 'Hi's and exchanged a "we're on the first row" laughter.

Event 4: So the movie is running. Anushka (the film's heroine) is wearing tights and streching around. Gooood. Right at that moment my wife pokes me and says "Did you see that? She has flab too!" I'm like "whaa..?" without turning my head. 5 seconds later I find myself clutching my bicep due to the after effects of a 'onashunti' (sharp pinch). Yup, I wasn't looking at any flab. And she saw it.

5 mins later, she pokes me again and points me to that elusive flab in Anushka's body. (honestly, I had no idea what she was talking about. The babe looked 10/10 to me. But hey, that's just me).

I turn to her and give a smile. But alas, that innocent smile was mistaken for my 'look who's talking' smirk. 'onashunti' no 2.

(Honey, if you're reading this, I do not think you're fat. That's crazy talk. Who says you're fat? What are they smoking? Ummmwaaah.)

Event 5: Actually, it was an ongoing event throughout the film. There were these bunch of hindi speaking guys sitting behind us. One of them was an apparent target for the rest. So, for every emotional scene on screen, they harassed this guy with lines like "arrey yaar, tu please rona shuru mat kar de" or "control yaar". The best one was when the heroine appeared in tights "dekh, teri behen mast lag rahi he". It was juvenile, but hillarious. A throwback to the glorious days of yore for me atleast. And frankly, it was more entertaining than what was happening on screen at times.

Oh, the movie. Right. (spoilers ahead) (you see, this film's story was 'guarded' so secretly that I'm compelled to put a disclaimer)

Shahrukh is this nerd who marries this girl Anushka under trying circumstances. But she can't get herself to love him. So he transforms into a dude and feels her up. She falls for him, but is torn between her husband and her lover which leads to some seriously corny situations and a very predictable and tame ending.

It wasn't all bad though. The film started with a lot of promise. The opening credits were refreshingly realistic. The first 30 mins of the film were genuinely interesting.  And there are bits and pieces of magic, mainly conjured up by SRK. 

Actually, Its a mixed bag for Shahrukh. On one hand, he absolutely nails it as the nerd simpleton. Some fantastic acting there. You feel for him and root for him. But he overdoes it as the dude "Raj". The girl Anushka makes an impression too. She looks good in tights, better in salwars and has a great smile. Surprisingly for a debutante, she manages to hold her own in dramatic scenes. A brilliant actor like Vinay Pathak is wasted.

(By the way, did I just mention 'tights' like 5 times already? Believe me, I'm not 'tight' while writing this.)

Music is decent. 'Haule Haule' (and its wonderful harmonium prelude) is beautiful. 'Dance pe Chance' has a pretty ordinary tune, but Sunidhi and the dhols take it to another level.

(And Kajol makes a guest song appearance, for all of you who care. I definitely did. Its Kajol, man!!)

You know what the best part of the film is? The end credits.

No its not the age old sarcasm. The end credits are so simple and funny, they bring a smile on your face. So, if you do decide to watch 'Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi', cringe through the last hour and stick around till the end. 

(Image Courtesy: www.yashrajfilms.com)